It's kind of hard to express the lostness that I felt when she finally left this morning. Not just me, my hubby too. It's really strange that even though she was with us for 2 months, her leaving makes us really sad...

My hubby and I are thankful to God for providing such a good domestic helper. She has been such a great help from the day she came - taking care of my father-in-law, taking care of the house, cooking, washing, etc. Without her, I think it would have been impossible for us to cope.

I have been preparing myself for her departure. I know there could never be any reason for us to keep her as a helper, even if I'm pregnant. There isn't much for her to do anyway.

I guess for us, her departure signifies the confirmation of a change in our lives. It symbolises too that life is never the same as before. It reminds again too that my father-in-law has really passed away. In a way, it also represents a final closure to the whole matter.

It is interesting that without the helper around, life is just like before. No more worries about what she's going to do in the noon, no more worries about what she can eat while we are out, no more worries that she's bored to tears because we're all too busy out of the house and she's all alone with nothing much to do. But somehow, it's just never the same.

I guess we need to get adjusted. I have to get used to going home and being alone, especially when my hubby is overseas. It's somehow different when she's around cos there's always someone to greet you with a smile. Strangely, she sorts of added a life to our house.

I'm not sure in future whether we'll engage a helper again. One thing I know, should we get another helper, the new helper will have a tougher time cos my first helper has set such a high standard. She has changed our perspective of engaging a helper.

Well, another grieving process. We need to grieve over the loss. Not just of my helper but also loss of time cos now we got to do house chores too.